Chase Bank Lobby

There is always a disturbance in the Force if I go into the bank lobby at lunch hour and there is only one bank teller working.

Where is everyone else? In the bank vault, rolling around naked in the $100 bills?

Or are they on Pacific Standard Time, therefore assuming no one is up and about this early?

Did the bank manager win the $250 million Lotto, and they are all in her soon-to-be-former office drinking champagne?

Perhaps it's just one of those Candid Camera / Punk'd situations? Someone is filming my Academy Award performance of sighs and frustrated faces, conveying the broad spectrum of human emotion, so that it may be played back to the soundtrack of Gone With the Wind for laughs?

No. It's never one of those scenarios. Ever.

It's just poor planning on the part of the bank, coupled with the fact the one guy in front of me at the teller counter is currently transferring $5,000 in yen from his bank account in Tokyo to $2,000 pounds in the London branch, directing $400,000 into his Bermuda bank account from his wife's account in Saudi Arabia to evade taxes, and requesting the balance in a certified cashier's check by Spanish sign language. In slow motion. Via his albino seeing eye dog.

Cue eye roll. Cut! Print! Applause!