Plinky: What's guaranteed to make you roll your eyes?

"New Look", Oxford Street

This prompt is hard to answer, and not because I'm one of those 'live and let live, man, everyone's entitled to their own opinion' type of people. In fact, quite the opposite.

I hate everyone. I hate all personality traits. Everyone's. No exceptions. If I claim to like you then you've done well, but don't get cocky; I'm probably lying. Misanthropy ftw.

I tried hard to think of a single notable thing that really grinds my gears, drawing upon my experience as a cynical douchebag. Today I had been walking around town for a bit, just chillin', doing a bit of shopping and trying to relax after my shift at work. Seeing everyone out in their summer attire made me really want to pour bleach into my eyes and blink furiously. Therefore, for my 'guaranteed eye rolling' subject, I have chosen... New Look!

As I have mentioned 384302984595 times, I live in a rural suckfest. In Somerset we all pool together to deliver maximum lameness to the community. Nightclubs? Only on Wednesday and Saturday nights!! Public transport? You really need more than ONE bus an hour?! Clothes shops...? We have one clothes shop for everyone to share. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. Unfortunately, that shop is New Look. I think I'm the only girl in the county that does not shop solely in New Look. THE ONLY New Look. Which is the proud owner of about 4 lines of stock.

"Hey! Those seventeen girls over there are all wearing the same striped tshirt, luckily for them they've cleverly managed to assuage their conscience regarding the obvious 'Don't Go Out Wearing The Same Top As Your Friend... Or All Your Friends' rule as they've managed to disguise their fashion faux pas by buying all different colours! I must make a trip to New Look to get my own (or five)!"

I try and make out like I don't want to sleep with any of the girls here but really I'm just terrified of stripping them of their offensive-to-the-eye New Look jeggings and floral vest top and discovering they're all wearing the same New Look bra and knickers underneath. I don't think I could cope. I'm drowning in a sea of conformity and repetitiveness and cheap shite.

The irony of the name of the shop kills me too. New Look. NEW Look. As in, a look that is different to any other look that has been before. I'm crying just at the thought of it.

You can preach, friends, about how I waste my money on more expensive clothes - and home delivery costs! - but you can always get more money and you can't buy class. Especially not in New Look.

Eye roll.