My pet would be Sir Didymus, the little squirrel-fox looking guy who's also a proper gentleman, from "Labyrinth."

I think he'd be like a more continental Bryan Griffin, who I couldn't have as a pet anyway, because Bryan's a cartoon. Sir Didymus is obviously real. That's why I'm wonderful.

I bet he's well-read, and could help me pick out wine. I suspect he's good in the kitchen. I mean, there's probably health issues with having an enchanted woodland creature handle your food, but he could sit on a stool and give me tips.

He also seems like a pretty independent sort. He could have the guest room, as long as he doesn't get in The Missus' way when she's working during the day. She's working on a play with a fair amount of English characters, so he could help make sure that she gets their voices right. Without infringing on her creative process.

Speaking of The Missus, it would be nice for her to have someone to go to theater and foreign movies with, you know? And it seems like ladies aren't really his thing (human ones, anyhow), so we wouldn't have those weird issues that Bryan and Lois have every few seasons or so.

And, you know, he's a knight and stuff. He's also always up for a game of "Scrabble." Yep. He's a good little guy.

In real life, we're getting a dog soon. Maybe we'll name him Sir Didymus. Awwww.