Books, books, books, books, books, books, and books.

don't remember when I met you. I don't even remember when I first noticed you. I only remember that you were always there, in the background. I remember thinking how smart you were. But I also thought that Moritz, your best friend at that time, was smarter and cuter than you. I learnt after awhile that I was wrong. Then I remember M&S class, I remember noticing Chris, your new best friend, halfway through term. I realised how smart and cute he was. I never noticed you. But you were always in the background. Then I remember that one night when you asked me out, it was the night before your girlfriend was coming to town. That was an awkward conversation. I remember being obsessed with you for a month after that. I remember thinking back and trying to figure out how you could ever like me. Then I remember remembering all the times you would come up to me and talk to me, ask me to hang out with your friends, stay back after class to discuss shared interests and all that. That's when I realised that I should've realised this earlier, though I'm not sure what I'd expected from that, you'd still have a girlfriend. Then there was Caroline, your new-found interest. I remember being disgusted by the way you were shamelessly flirting with her even though you were still with your girlfriend. I also remember being jealous. Very jealous. Then I remember trying to put you out of my mind and thinking that I was only obsessing with you in an attempt to get over Chris. And I remember being jealous of a girl who liked Chris. And I remember things being awkward between you and I. I didn't really like it. Then there was today. Today was, something else. Today I really saw you. Today I really wish I'd seen you earlier, before you had a girlfriend and before you were enraptured by Caroline. Today I realise that it should never have been Moritz, or Chris, it should always have been you. Today I regret seeing you so much later than I should've. Today I mourn not seeing the boy who was closest to what I've always wanted.

Update: Chris is like a cute movie that's nice to watch. You're like a good book I'd like to re-read over and over again.