I'm going to go with the "guilt-free" $1000 option, meaning I will assume I can't donate it to charity or buy all homeless people in my municipality a burger. No, I'll have to get creative if I hope to spend this $1000. Here are a few options:

1. The splurge: A new electric guitar. I was planning on something in the $500 range but hell, let's get the version with the flames and gold humbuckers.

2. The practical: We really need to seal our countertops. No kidding, that's a thing that grown up adult humans need to worry about, I am told. I did this a few years back and the chemicals I used may have taken a few points off my IQ. I am hiring a team of folks the next time around. Hopefully they have hazmat suits or something.

3. The gift that keeps on giving: A weekend getaway for Allison and I. Oh wine country I can hear your siren song, but not the voices of children.

Sad that number 2 is the most likely.