$1,000. 24 hours in LA. Let's do this.

1. I would buy my five closest friends the wholly awesome "Love Train: The Sound Of Philedelphia" box set. It's 4 CD's worth of 1970's Gamble and Huff Philly Soul goodness, and possibly the reason why the CD box set was invented. Cost: $154.95.

2. After such a burst of good will, it would be time to do a little looking out for yours truly. I think a trip to Floyd's 99 Barbershop on Melrose for a shave and a haircut. While Floyd's is assuredly a "simulated cool" experience, their Suicide Girl-ish hairdressers are easy on the eyes, and their shaving expert has an awesome handlebar mustache. Also, they get my look TIGHT. Cost: $45.

3. Of course, if the Missus don't look good, I don't look good. That's why I'm wonderful. So she gets a super cute pair of Betsey Johnson Rasheen pumps. And hold up, actually, they appear to be on sale at Amazon, so she gets two pairs (The Navy/Red, AND the Black/Fuschia. Rowr.) Cost: A sexy $153.69.

4. Now that both of us are looking fine, we'll need a super-swish beach-side hotel room to look fine in. So it's off to The Oceana in Santa Monica, and their comfy, classy Lanai Suite. Cost: $466.80

5. With the remaining $179.56, it's a quick stroll from the hotel to Father's Office (Although with The Missus' new shoes, we might take a cab,) home to the best burger in LA, and all of the craft beer we can handle. By the time we get back to the hotel, we'll be full, tipsy, and out of money. All in all, a fine day, and money well spent.