Cue up the The Billboard Hot 100 1989 {“Girl You Know Its Truuuue”}.

Picture the dark wood paneling and Astroturf {uh, carpet?} of my grandparent’s ‘finished’ basement.

My 11 year-old self sits crossed-legged on the floor surrounded by Big Lots’ special-Christmas-paper wrapped boxes of various sizes.

I rip open the first box revealing a short, red, stretchy-knit skirt. Okay, it’s the 80s. Not so bad.

But then the next box reveals a frilly shirt…with a smiling cow painted on the front.

And dear god, it gets worse!

White tights covered with big black cow splotches. Frilly cow socks, a bushy cow barrette, and necklaces and bracelets, and earrings…ALL bearing the smiling cow!

Mind you, this is NOT a cow costume. Oh no. It’s a cow OUTFIT! And udderly social suicide.

And thus my first life lesson on the importance a little white lie.

Thanks Gram, I love it!