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    • July 8, 2011 by jtran
    • Things I Don't Remember: The Names of Strippers That I Talk To
    • Stripper

      I always seem to forget the names of strippers that I talk to. My buddies, Crown Royal & Diet Coke, might play a part in this (they're douches and not cheap to hang out with, either), but I don't think I should be blaming this on them. Usually, if I come across someone who I find interesting -- or attractive -- for whatever reason, I usually remember their name. I really have to reconsider my patronage of these strip clubs, though, if their employees aren't displaying their personality -- which, let's face it, is an important part of their job -- enough to where their customers can't remember their names. I mean, I don't know about you, but when I shell out your hard earned money (I'm currently unemployed) for a lap dance, I want to at least be able feel like she's somebody I could get along with and maybe have a cup of coffee with and talk about the differences between single and multi-cam tv sitcoms, you know what I mean?

      Or maybe these ladies should consider wearing name tags, kinda like the employees at Popeyes and Foot Locker? They can even make them see-through or glow in the dark, Ke$ha style (which is a good look for a strip club if you ask me). This is obviously the greatest idea of all time, so next time I go, I'm going to ask one of the dancers to point me in the direction of their suggestion box.

      Because, really, the only other realistic option would be buying a bunch of post-it notes and bringing them to the club so I can put them on the dancers with their names scribbled on them (and I think a lot of my conservative/mom/conservative moms/Michele Bachmann readers can see the good in this idea), which would make it almost impossible for me to forget those poor girls names.

      Unfortunately, for right now, the post-it plan is a no go. I just gave my last $5 to Candy, my late-night working, single mom, struggling college student-friend. She promised me to pay me back in ones. How could I say no??

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