There's one meaning of fate (namely outcome) in which we all have to believe, since outcomes occur. There's another meaning of fate (namely destiny) , which implies that there is a reason for things happening or that certain outcomes are in some sense ordained. This meaning is one that I'm conflicted by. I have been told I should be dead or a vegetable based on my past behavior. I don't believe I am "special" but I find myself thinking there's some reason I'm not dead, but then I feel it has to be pure chance that I'm still here, since I don't believe in anything or anyone who could affect my life.

I'm confused!