Life can be so hard, and people can be so self centered.

I don't really think I trust anyone with my biggest secrets. I have gotten better at opening up and sharing, but letting people in has always been a huge obstacle for me. How could I possible let others see me weak when they need be to be so strong?

I'm a crazy happy person. Who constantly has a smile on her face and loves to laugh about anything. It's hard for me to let people see me any other way. I constantly pretend to be okay, but deep down I'm upset and just need to talk. Holding things in is horrible I know, but no one would ever understand what I am going through. How could they possibly? Especially when I can never seem to find the words to explain my feelings.

I let someone in once, and they let me down. They got scared of seeing me down, and they didn't want to be around someone who wasn't happy and at their best. So they left me to worry about my problems myself. They took all my secrets and they took my will to ever trust anyone with that much of me. Because if one person could leave me why wouldn't everyone else.

The whole world has their problems and constantly wants others to listen to themselves. So why should I have ever expected them to have time to listen to mine.

I do have one person right now who I know I could tell anything and she wouldn't judge me or change her mindset about me. She would just listen and let me talk. I don't know what I would possibly do without her. And I wish we weren't so far apart all the time.