the scariest thing that i've experienced this year--->

the scariest thing that i've experienced this year is being sick and having to go to the er again.

a few months ago, i was feeling really bad physically (with my ms). i stopped keeping track of the amount of water that i was drinking. my kidneys are ultra-sensitive to hydration (or the lack there of), if i don't drink at least 10-16.9 ounce bottles of water, i get dehydrated. well, i got dehydrated. couple the dehydration with the overwhelming sadness that i was feeling...and you get a big catastrophe.

i ended up having to go to the urgent care clinic...who in turn, sent me to the er. my partner had been out all day and was really tired, so i told her to go home (knowing full well that i was terrified to be put in the hospital again). i was scared to death. part of my fear is related to trying to eavesdrop on conversations that i think are going on in the hallway. i have lost a fair amount of hearing, and my doctor told me that i hear bits and pieces of things, but not the whole thing. my brain takes those bits and pieces, and strings them together into something that makes sense to me.

being alone, and having this hearing problem...i thought that i heard a lot of different things...all things that scared me. it was one scary " conversation" after another...i kept getting more and more scared. i told myself that i had to "hold it together." i was so proud of myself! i was so scared, but i got through it...

it was certainly the scariest thing that i've experienced this year.