A Tale of Wet Denim

Hum....the worst experience that keeps popping into my mind is not one that actually happened. So I don't think it counts. lol But I always use to worry that I would get hard and have to walk up to the board to write something. TMI? How racy can Plinky get? The name just sounds so innocent. Plinky. Can I even swear on here? Fuck. I feel so naughty!!!

Anyway (without an "s"), I think my worst classroom experience had to be in 3rd grade. 1993, Mrs. Epstieneytsjhd's class. (The name has been altered slightly to protect the evil.) This woman should not have been teaching 3rd grade by ANY means. I was afraid of her, and I am pretty sure other people were as well. So one day that I really had to use the bathroom, I was afraid to ask. I know I had asked on other days, and was always met by a scolding and an instruction to hold it. (Man, I wish I had just taken my pants down and peed on her face! Would have helped if she had a sty in her eye, so I hear!) Anyway (without an "s"), I get sidetracked. So that day, I really had to pee, and I decided not to ask if I couldn't do so, because I was afraid of getting yelled at. So I waited.

And waited...

And waited...

And waited..........some more....("tick, tock," said my wiener!)

Until finally, I couldn't take it anymore. So, instead of saying a word, I just got up, left the classroom, and started running down the hallway. Perhaps it was the footsteps, or perhaps those ugly green and brown floor tiles...but no matter what way you slice it, my bladder gave out. So alone I stood, in the hallway, peeing my pants. Alas!!

Now, that wasn't all that bad. I mean, I was wet and uncomfortable, yes...but whatever. The bad part, was that I had to TELL people! I was in third grade! It wasn't like I could hop in my car and get another pair of pants from home! And I was a very quiet, and well behaved child. Regardless, I walked back into the class and remember every word I said...

It was reading time. The class was sitting in a circle looking at the witch, when I entered. She looked up and said..."Where have you been?!" I responded with, "I had to go to the bathroom...and...uh...I...didn't make it." God, I remember that so clearly. (Suddenly wondering how a 3rd grader could just run out of the room, and the teacher continued on with her class? I am a teacher now...and if one of my kids ran out of the room, I would figure that shit out! Huh! What a bitch! lol)

So that was pretty much that. I went to the nurses office, my parents took me home for the day because I was so embarrassed, and when I returned the next day, all of the children were really nice to me....too nice. I knew even then, that they had been told to be extra nice to me.

Well, it was no boner, but that's my story! (Although, the word boner actually means mistake, and technically, it was a mistake, so I guess it WAS a boner story after all!!! lol) Hope you enjoyed reading my pee tale! Thank you for lending your eyes to my words, and remember....uh....let 3rd graders pee or they will talk smack about you on a blogging site 20 years later!!! lol Over and out.

--D-peed--