Hershey's

I wish I was more of a refined person. I wish I could say that when things get stressful I reach for a nice mug of herbal tea, perhaps a rooibos, and that I drink it cross legged while chanting a mantra of calm or something. Maybe I'm confusing refined with new age. Maybe if I was refined I would slowly drink a 12 year old single malt scotch until my worries melted away. I tried scotch once and I coughed and swore to stick with beer. I'm comfortable being a beer man, there's no sense in playing a part I didn't get cast for.

However when I fined myself stressed, which lately seems to be a permanent state of mind, I reach for chocolate. I'm sure I'll have that in common with many females of our species and I regret the sexual stereotyping that has come to be associated with chocolate. I think my only redeeming quality is that I consume dark chocolate.

Now I don't adhere to dark chocolate on the basis of recent health reports telling us it is choc full of antioxidants. That's not the only thing it's choc full of, let us not forget the calories. I reach for dark chocolate because at some point in the last five years I started eating it and once I crossed that line milk chocolate began to taste as bland as Amish sex.

Once I was hooked on Dark Chocolate I became an addict and my addiction progressed to the point where I sought out stronger and purer chocolate. I'm on the 85% cacao now. Yeah, the good shit. When I get stressed I reach for some 85% tear back the wrapper and let the worries melt away as the calories flood in. Ahhhhhhhhh...