I am mostly in charge of my life and most of the time I have a good idea of where I am going and how the decision I make will turn out. The last time I felt out of control was about six weeks ago. I was in the recovery room after knee replacement surgery. Of course I was pumped full of drugs and I have been clean for four years as a recovering addict. I overcame by keeping in mind that these drugs were a necessity and with a lot of meditation.