Wallet
Cash & Credit of course.

Cellphone
So I can ignore it when it rings.

18ft of Rope
You never know when 18 ft of rope will come in handy.

Autographed Picture of Prince
In times of crisis, this will get your out of many binds. I can't tell you how, but it will.

1 Bottle of Honey Dijon Mustard Vinaigrette
Never fail, when I'm out on the town someone will surely ask if I have any. Now I can say yes.

8 Baby Ducks
I keep them in my hoody pocket. It makes me feel motherly.

$.99 in change
That way I will always have the correct change on my first purchase of the day.

An 8-ball of Coke
I don't do drugs but if I get mugged by a junkie looking to support his habit, I can give him the drugs. Saves me from losing my money and also keeps my new junkie friend from buying from a scary drug dealer.