- This is in answer to:
- Who do you love the most in this world? Why? See all answers
- February 14, 2013 by emjenkinson
- This One's For You, Baby
Almost a year ago, I met this wonderful guy online. Of course, my family and friends brought to mind my past relationships that began via the internet, pointing out how I had been hurt and that I should stick to finding a guy I could meet in person. The thing is, I'm stubborn. Always have been and, more than likely, always will be. Because of that nature, I threw aside their words of wisdom. The path hasn't been smooth -- it's been full of rocks, bumps, monsters, and ugly moments where sometimes, I wished I had chosen a less favorable path. We persevered though.
There are times I want to kill him. I mean that in the most serious way possible. (And please, for the love of God, don't perceive that as threat.) Then, there are times I wish to cuddle him. Times I wish I could be the perfect girlfriend.
But that's the point. There's no such thing as a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend; a perfect husband or wife; or even a perfect couple. If there were, they'd surely be driven insane with boredom. (I had a relationship like that once, where everything was as perfect as pie. It had the nastiest end, too. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't wasted all that emotion on the loser, but hey! I learned from it, didn't I?) Love isn't a word to be tossed around -- and yet, everyone does it. Every moment, of every day, someone falsely uses the word. Someone lies to their significant other, just to keep them happy. Someone says "I love you" and they don't mean it. I've been there, I've done that -- and I'm sure you have too. That's not what's important right now, though. Right now, it's important that he knows I do love him.
This is our first Valentine's day together. We met almost a year ago; I was upset about something and had written a silly little journal entry on a worthless website and he responded to it by direct messaging me. It really made my day. I didn't realize then that I would be with him a year down the road. I didn't realize then that he would throw away his life in Iowa to take a bus down to Arkansas to prove that he wanted to be with me, after I had thrown it in his face in lieu of a dispute -- I'd told him I was leaving for California. If he wanted to be with me, then he better get here. Now, here I am, with him still at my side -- hundreds of miles from what we used to call home.
This is our first Valentine's day together, and yet we're not together at all. By time he gets home from work, I'll be heading in. After that, we've got no money to spare.
So this one's for you, baby. I'm not any more perfect than you are. Sure, I like to act like it. I have an inflated ego. We both need to change in some ways, so just bare with me. Take those starting steps with me, so we can live a long, happy life together. Forever.