My desire for writing and having active audience of what I write have been already a genuine desire of my heart since the moment I cannot even remember anymore. It was a dream of mine to be a journalist and to be able to publish a book that would contribute to my transgender Imagined Community. There are times that I am so inspired that I am sometimes so sure that it will happen. Though of course, moments like that are actually based on feelings and not on knowing. It varies from one time to another. Sometimes I am so inspired and I feel there is nothing in the world that I want that I will not be able to realise. But somehow, sometimes, I have moments where I feel weak and discouraged that I might be able to achieve anything at all.

My regret in life is that I did not follow my intuition that I might be a natural born writer. If I only followed the path that my intuition leads me, I would have been able to invest in cultivating talents and skills that I do not know I might have. I was young, I did not choose for myself. I thought my choices are realization of what I truely want, but they were just achieving what I thought I want based on the available information and resources in my surroundings. In a way, most of my decisions in the past were products of societies dictation and expectation.

I have even tried to write diaries with pen and paper. It was 2002 the last diary I kept and I do still have them now. The desire for writing has been always present in my life, but there is a major change in my life that had actually made me convert the plan in to action.

The difficulties of being different (here I am again with my different bla bla bla) and the challenges I face everyday for the fact that my sexual orientation and gender do not concord with my biological sex not to mention that I am actually not so discreet about that face. Believe me when I say the challenge is huge, because it is really huge that sometimes I am losing my sanity. My blog had helped me survived all the challenges through the process of reflection and then documentation that I am rewarded by knowledge and better understanding with the situation as a whole.

Are you curious about the first writing product?? It was dramatic.. I WAS SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN..
http://ladyboymirror.com/2011/07/25/oscar-winning-dialogue-of-the-night/