Empty Wallet
I think I should probably list what is not in my purse instead...

My purse is filled with loose change, random receipts, and an empty wallet; hence I can never find my credit card. Another thing that should be in my purse that is constantly escaping is my set of keys. I've found them in the freezer, in the bathroom, and more often than I wish, in the door. I'm pretty sure that the purpose of the purse is to safely keep all of your important daily things together, but somehow my two most important things like to scurry off to who-knows-where.

Maybe I should give up on the purse.