monetize
Sure, it's a real word, but these days it's lazy shorthand used by underpants gnomes.* You know what monetize means? It means "to establish as legal tender or to convert into currency."

Gold can be monetized. Clicks can't. Eyeballs can't. Unless H.P. Lovecraft is involved.

viral
I'll always remember the first time I saw a powerpoint slide labeled "Optimizing for maximum virality." I think I ran out of the room to take a Silkwood shower.

phthalates
Apparently phthalates exist unseen all around me, and I have a vague sense I should fear them. But I'm never sure how to pronounce the word, so I don't, and this increases my fear and dread.

In this way, they are much like Cthulhu.

*Unless the speaker in question is a current or potential client. In that case I enthusiastically support all viral monetization strategies.

Hail Cthulhu.