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    • Butt-Wiper Legend, Elizabeth Jackson inducted into the Mother Olympians' Hall of Fame
    • Jackson, mother of two began her career as a butt wiper in 2002 with her 1st partner and daughter, but it wasn't until she partnered up with her newborn son in the sport of breastfeeding that she really began to shine as a multitasking althete. "I don't encourage entering into two mothering sports at the same time. There was a lot of pressure to get things done right..." The mother explains.

      It was then in 2005 that scandle flooded the headlines across the country. Jackson was found using hand sanitizers which have been outlawed in two mothering sports by The Commission to Keep Things The Way They Were since the sanitizer's equality to soap has not been determined by propper FDA trials.

      The Butt-Wiping sport consists of 3 performances. The short performance shows a quickness in the player's ability of wiping. Then the player's thouroghness is examined by a team of judges after the time of the actual "wipe" has been determined by the official time watch. The last performance is not always observed by onlookers but requires a thourough handwashing routine that must be accomplished in no LESS than 20 seconds. If the handwashing is completed in less than 20 seconds, the judges are notified and a trial to determine the cleanliness of the player's hands begins. It was in this last round where Jackson was eliminated when a bottle of hand sanitizer was used in place of the normal 20 second wash with soap and water.

      Elizabeth, coming from a long line of champion Breastfeeders and Butt-Wipers, issued an appologetic statement, "My mother was a Butt-Wiping champion in 1980 with a team of 4 poopers under the age of 3. I know I have disgraced everyone with my desire to win at too many events all at once. I am ashamed to admit that I did use the sanitizer instead of soap so I wouldn't be late for my next event (which was breastfeeding.")

      After years of controversy involving the use of hand sanitizers, Jackson was finally inducted into the Mother Olympians' Hall of Fame and has since announced her retirement since her partner and son of 4 years has begun his solo career.

       
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  • Comments

    Scheopner said:
    Love it! How do you have time to write it?
    posted about 1 year ago
    colorfuljacksons said:
    lol! My kids are finally growing up and becoming a little more independent; hence the comment of my son's "solo career." I log on in the morning and read the plinky prompt and then think it over for an hour or two while doing other mommy things. When I've obsessed enough over it, I kick the kids off the computer just long enough to write my plinky answer and check other msgs. It really isn't until the afternoon when we get out and then I check msgs at night when I put the kids to bed. Yes, this was written more about when I certainly did NOT have time to be online at all! Now I have time to write about it.
    posted about 1 year ago
    jess said:
    "After years of controversy involving the use of hand sanitizers", love it!
    posted about 1 year ago

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