Better than average runner who pretends to tie his shoes so he can catch his breath runs marathon in 4 hours and 5 minutes. Had he been able to keep his shoes tied, he might have broke 4 hours. He was beaten by a dozen or more 50 year old men, and a handful of 14 year old girls. We probably won't cover him next year, in hopes of having a better story to write.

We would like to mention that he is also average in mountain biking, frisbee, and hacky sack. And, he earns honorable mention in wrestling, swimming, and football. We thought we might mention that he once competed in chess, Model UN, and Speech and Debate - but those aren't real sports.

If you buy another magazine we promise to do it on Lance Armstrong or Kobe Bryant, if we can get them. If not, you might be stuck reading about the competitive eating hot dog champion.