I’ve only once been exposed to the feeling of being dumped: being laid off from the company I was proud to work for but made me feel dead inside. Sound like a sour relationship?

I woke up the morning of my break-up wanting to hand over my grown-up badge. Could I please fast forward 24-hours and not have to deal with this day? I was shaky and uncertain and more than a little sick to my stomach.

Rewind 13 hours:
The climate is bad. My company had been laying people off every week for the past 6 months. I received an innocuous 30-minute meeting request for the next morning and confronted my boss (something like “If you’re going to lay me off can you please do it now so I can sleep-in tomorrow morning?”). From her face, I knew I was a goner.

So, I chose to do what every woman should do before an impending break-up: go to the spa. It’s about self confidence. And despite what people may say, confidence starts with your roots touched-up, nails buffed, and errant hairs plucked.

Then there’s the outfit which should say “I’m way too good for you anyway” (as opposed to “I’m over-compensating by showing too much” or “I’ve spent the night crying and didn’t have time to iron myself”). I chose a simple but much complimented flowing dress with sky high ‘look-down-on-everyone’ heels. Green for March, money, spring, and because it complimented my eyes.

Back to the big break-up:
I pulled into my usual parking spot and saw my Director (the one I’m sure who had to make the decision) walking in front of me (no I did not hit him with my car).

I know the man saw me, but instead he ignored me, pulled out his cell phone and started talking into it. As I walked behind him I fumed at his cowardice until his phone started RINGING. Ha! He looked at me in horror (Yeah, buddy, I noticed).

All of a sudden the clouds parted, the rays of sun shined down on me, and I felt POWER!

His mouth still agape, I smiled at this sad man, offered him a cheerful “Good Morning” and went off confidently to meet my fate.

The door to the break-up room was closed. I’ll be damned if I would meekly knock at the door of my own axe session. So, I walked right in, skirt swinging, smile on my face and caught my first glimpse of my tearful boss. Again, this sealed my confidence. Across from her was the HR woman who did not exhibit a tear in her expression, but had beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

Neither woman spoke. So, I began the meeting, graciously accepted a nice offer, and laughed at the prospect of sneaking in on the weekend to collect my belongings.

Instead I marched into the area in which I spent many days trapped like a caged animal and met each one of my cage-mates face-to-face looking them right in the eye.

I learned a lot about people’s character that day. Individuals I greatly admired avoided me like the plague. A simple hand shake reduced them to children. On the flip side, some of my former colleagues deserved much more credit than I ever gave them.

This makes me think of my friends...the ones who have suffered great break-ups. How many times did I lose touch with one half of the relationship, even after years of shared evenings and weekends?

Break-ups, lay-offs, they’re not as hard on the person leaving as the people being left behind. THAT is why our friends hide in their living rooms for weeks after break-ups. THAT is why companies want you to sneak in after-hours to wrap up your affairs. The people left behind are feeling sad and guilty, sure. But mostly they feel relief. Relief that it wasn’t them...this time.