This woman is the laziest woman in the world. She can't even cycle 3 miles to work, for god's sake. She thinks sleeping should be an olympic sport. She pretends that, just because Marion Bartoli said she liked a lot of sleep when she reached the Wimbledon final in 2007, that makes it a good indicator of physical prowess.

She doesn't do running. She gave up hockey when her knee cartilage started to disintegrate. She gave up volleyball after she dislocated a finger. She doesn't even go to pilates classes any more.

She does have curves in all the right places, though. And she hasn't done a wee in public since she was 4 years old. Unlike Paula Radcliffe.