First of all, if I'm an auto dealer, my name is going to be Rick. Fuck you, I don't care about your ideas about gender roles; my name is going to be Rick, and I want a goddamn glorious mustache, okay?

*Clears throat*

So say there's a customer approaching me with the usual questions: "How does it work?", and "How much of a deal can you cut me?", or the ever-famous "Why does it burn when I pee?" I'd throw a hand on their shoulder and announce, "Well, you came to the right person. *Rubs mustache with index finger thoughtfully* This here boy's gonna cost you 'round $800,000." Then the customer would probably say something like, "$800,000? Isn't that a little high?" I'd grip their shoulder a little tighter and say, "Well maybe we can work something out." And the customer would stare at me, and I would tighten the grip a little more, and the customer would stare at my glorious mustache, and I'd break their shoulder with my grip of steel, a tumbleweed would blow by, and then I'd look at the customer and say, "You have nice bone structure."

Rick is such an asshole.