My first kiss was a magical wonderful experience. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was a young lad of... like 19 or so. I was at my friend's house and my oh my, I could just feel the magic in the air as I drank rum straight out of the bottle. It was wonderful. Everyone was having a grand old time, and I barely remember any vomiting into trash cans. We all danced and sang and carried on like old pals. And then... I saw her. Standing there, hair flowing in the wind, mostly coming out of her moles... kind of hunched over, because she kind of had a cute hunchback. Like Quasimodo, only with a vagina, I hope. Her name was... uh... maybe Susan or Theresa. Whatever, anyways, the point is, I went downstairs and my friend Brad said, "Dude, that girl thinks you're cute."

Okay so when I said I saw her all dramatically, I was flat out lying. I hadn't seen her yet. But I went upstairs to take a nervous look. I suavely walked up to her, and put forth one of my best lines. "Hi," I said, before immediately tripping over myself and spilling rum on the three people to my right. "I'm Joel." I'll never forget the way she said, "Hi, Joel, I'm <>."

From that moment on, it was like a fairy tale. Not like the one you'd tell your kids, more like one of the old school fairy tales where gruesome shit went down and people died horribly. Regardless, I danced in an opposite corner of the room, gradually gaining courage and alcohol poisoning until I boldly walked somewhat close to her and made awkward eye contact until she forced herself upon me, dancing and grinding like a whirlwind of romance and passion.

I tried on some of my best white guy dance moves- bending my legs slightly and bouncing up and down a little. After about five minutes of that I got bored and turned her around to face me. Her lips met mine and, in an instant, I knew that I would remember this moment for a lifetime, no matter how much I tried to suppress it.

It was a quiet serene moment, and you could have heard a pin drop, if not for the numerous other people hooting and hollering, "Go JOEL!", flicking the lights on and off repeatedly, and slapping me on the butt. It took all the self restraint and respect I had to back away from her and end the wonderful kiss. It took even more self restraint to pretty much forget to talk to her for the rest of the night.

In the end, she left- as they all do, over time. She went back to her college, and we knew it would never work out between us. We were from two different worlds. Well, at least I was fairly sure she was from a different world, judging from her biology and appearance. Maybe the zoo. Regardless, she left and I was utterly heartbroken when I found out I'd lost my one true love, at least until like a week later when I met the girl I'd essentially be in teen-anxty love with for about two years.

Oh fuck, she's gonna read that. Well whatever, it's too late to hit backspace now.

Women have come and gone since then. Well actually, not many of them have come at all, which is why most of them have gone. But the fact remains that I'll never forget that magical day or maybe night in October or November at Union Street's party house, I think. I wouldn't give that wonderful memory up for all the money you could offer.

Oh shit, twenty bucks? ...What kiss?