NEW CAR KEYS

The best prank I have ever seen. Well, in order to tell a story with passion, I must refer to one of the longest, most intricate pranks I have ever taken part in. The outcome was SO worth it, so stick around for a bit, grab an iced tea and let me tell you a little story about a prank on a guy named Ken.

My sophomore year in college, I lived with two guys in a two bedroom apartment - I had one room and they shared the other room to cut costs. We got along well and did a lot of funny pranks on each other throughout the year - always meant to be in good fun. The warm bowl of water, the shortsheeting the bed, the letting the air out of the tires on their car (ok, not so funny, but guilty), it was all part of our life together.

The year ticked along and we decided to throw a big party and invite all of our friends and neighbors. And, like any good party in college, it started with a keg or two of beer, some loud music and absolutely nothing to snack on in an apartment living room meant for 6 people, yet somehow holding 50 - 60 without issue.

The party really got moving, the music got louder and the drinking games were underway. Eventually, we were visited by our friendly neighborhood police officer who broke it all up and we had to clear everyone out. But, this party had been going for a while and like any good shindig during college, we had some casualties - namely, for the sake of this story, a guy named Ken.

After the evacuation ended and my roomies and I got the place cleaned up, we found Ken passed out on one of the beds in their room. And, we had known him for a while and we knew there was no hope in waking him. So, we hung out for a bit, drank a bit more and finally we all crashed leaving Ken at peace.

But, this was not to be for long as Ken grumbled around and ended up waking the one roommate sleeping in the room just a bit after they went to bed. Ken sloppily got to his feet and fell across the room, slamming into the closet door. Now, my roommate, not really caring was just kind of watching. UNTIL, Ken opened the closet door and proceeded to 'empty his bladder' right into my roommates laundry hamper. You can imagine the shock of the roommate watching this, but he didn't do anything simply because it was not his laundry hamper.

Ken finished his deed and staggered back to the bed where he was and fell back into a deep sleep. A DEEP sleep that took him far into the morning the next day.

A lot went on while Ken was sleeping - mainly the prank was decided upon and action was taken. By 8 a.m. the next day, all parties, except Ken, were up and excitedly discussing the events of the previous night with a heavy focus on who was going to clean up the closet.

But, an idea took shape while we sat there - an idea that was formed when we realized that Ken's car keys were sitting on our kitchen table. Quickly, the plan was afoot and we were off to the local hardware store.

Now, what could we possibly have done? Well, we made 3 copies of Ken's car key. That's all. And, then we returned to the apartment and returned his keys to the kitchen table.

Ken eventually woke up with a massive hangover and stumbled out the door to get himself home where, knowing him, he probably went back to sleep.

3 copies of Ken's car keys - you're asking yourself - so what? What good would that do?

In the immediate future, it did us no good - we were in this for the 'long prank'. After about 30 days, we started putting the plan in action. We talked each day and we communicated who was going to be where and if any of us had seen Ken's car amongst a campus of 25,000 people. Ironically, we did see his car quite a bit.

It started out simple - one of us would see Ken's car and then use our newly acquired key to get in and move it. Just a few spaces at first, but enough that he would notice as most students would keep track of the space they parked in to make it easier to find later on.

We would try to move his car at least 3 times a week and then just wait. We didn't have to wait for long. Ken started griping to people that he needed to cut down on his drinking and other assorted things as he kept misplacing his car. He was even going so far as to write down the spot number. But, when he came out after his classes, he was finding his car in a spot a few down - at least according to his memory.

But, he had always found his car, so he never really put anything together. He was just racking it up to a foggy memory brought on by the typical college life.

This is when the prank started to pick up some speed.

Now, knowing we had Ken completely confused and there wasn't any way he could attribute the issues he was having with the car to us, we stepped up our efforts. The plan was now to move the car to a different parking lot altogether.

The first time went down without issue. But, not for Ken - we made sure we were over at his house with his roommates for an impromptu party. He came in 'frazzled' - heck, a complete basket case. He was swearing, kicking the couch and screaming that his car moved. We were all watching him and luckily, since his behavior was so eratic, we all began laughing. This helped my roommates and I cover up any nervousness that we were feeling.

The funny thing was that Ken was still on the fence as to whether or not he was going nuts, had a foggy memory or was still drunk when he parked the car. His roommates were laughing at him and telling him that he was losing his mind and that since he found the car, there was no issue. He kept at it and let us know that it took him 45 minutes to find the car this time. This brought out hysterical laughter amongst the group.

But, Ken finally fell in line and thought it may be possible. Now, you have to ask yourself, how messed up was Ken? Well, I can answer you in this way - you have to pick your marks carefully when it comes to a good prank and with Ken, we knew we had struck gold!

The 'long prank' continued to evolve. The actions taken by my roommates and I continued to escalate. Ken ended up reporting his car stolen twice over the course of the next 6 months. But, the car was always found outside a local 7-Eleven or a tavern in town. It was always funny to follow one of the roommates as we were making the drop.

Ken's mental health was slipping - his roommates were even starting to wonder about his well being. We slowed down the prank to once a week. Enough to keep him on edge.

So, you're asking yourself, how long did this go on? Well, the 'long', best prank ever went on for 9 months. We estimate that we moved his car over 40 times during this time period.

The best part came at the time of the reveal. It was at a party where everyone was attending. My roommates and I all decided to let Ken know at this event as it was neutral ground and we knew we could escape if he went crazy.

We all arrived at the party and had a lot of fun. As the night wore on and we knew Ken was getting his groove on, we decided to make our move. We were all seated at a table playing quarters - there were about 8 of us in all.

When the time came for Ken to bounce the quarter, each of my roommates and I took their car key out and placed it on the table. Slowly, each one of us slid their key in front of Ken. All 3 keys rested right in front of the glass he was getting ready to bounce his quarter in.

Ken paused for a moment as he had watched us do this. He sat there for more than a minute, his mind definitely not on the quarter any longer. Slowly, we all watched as it sunk in and he began to realize what we had just done.

His face started to get flush and his fist clenched. Ken slammed his hands on the table and this got the attention of everyone at the party. He began to now run his hands through his hair and the screaming commenced. "You mother f'ers!", "No f'ing way, No f'ing way!" - these were some of the nicest things said.

For the other people in the party, the story was spreading fast and laughter was piping up from all around. Ken, who was definitely NOT finding it funny, was getting more agitated. Knowing how tense of a situation this was, his roommates moved in to calm him down - even as they were laughing.

It was tense for a good 30 minutes, but my roommates and I hung in there as we weren't going to miss a moment of this. We watched as Ken went through a number of emotional states, eventually ending up in a complacent state where he realized he had been HAD.

As he finally gained his composure, he came back to the table and simply asked, "Why?" Everyone started laughing hysterically. It took a few minutes for everyone to calm down, but you could see the strain in Ken's eyes.

"Why Ken?", my roommate asked. "Why? Well, Ken, you remember when you crashed at our place after the party a while back? Well, you woke up in the middle of the night and took a leak all over my clothes." Laughter erupted around the table. Ken even smirked a bit when he heard what he had done.

When the laughter subsided and we all quieted down, it was Ken who spoke up. What did he say?

"Guys - well played. Best GD prank I've ever seen, heard of, and hope to have played on me in my lifetime."

Ken thought so, I think so and I hope you did too after reading this.

Cheers!