When the zombies come, I will first sing them the song "Re: Your Brains" by Jonathan Coulton. I think they would like that and would make them feel at home.

I would then let them know that I listened to Extra Life Radio's with Scott Johnson's Zombie Special Podcast "Mah Zipper is Broke" to let them know I was interested in their culture.

Then once I am friends with them, I will send them to people I don't like..reminding them of the tastiness of human flesh, all the while convincing them that I taste rancid and they don't want me.

Then, with my zombie army, everybody will either love me or get eaten. How's that for a masterful plan?