I was a 22 year old Mormon boy with virgin lips. I was dating Darla and saving my first kiss for the moment when I would propose to marry my first love. Interstingly, the very day that I met Darla I also met Marcus. . . in CHURCH. We were the three musketeers. The three of us did everything together. I spent all of my days with Darla. Marcus accompanied us on a lot of our adventures. It was so nice to be around Darla and Marcus. I finally had friends who made me feel accepted and complete. Darla looked into my soul and saw something special. I could not hide anything from her. I felt we were soul-mates. Marcus and I hung out and did the "guy" thing. . . We watched Simpsons and played video games. I enjoyed having a good guy friend to pal around with. One night, while i was at Marcus' apartment his hand brushed against mine. I flinched. Unexpectedly I felt a jolt of nervous electricity all over as if I were being tickled. He laughed because he realised he had found a vulnerability in me. Without notice, Marcus susprised me by trying to hold my hand or scratch my back or tickle my side. He got a kick out of taunting me. It became a joke between us. Months went by and Darla and I were talking marriage and a long life together. Marcus and I spent little time palling around anymore, but when we did get together, the mood started to change. Our casual tv watching and video games turned into 3 hour-long naps together and baking dinners and burning scented candles. When we watched movies, I had grown accustomed to holding his hand. When we took naps in the afternoon I had become addicted to having him sleeping beside me. When we touched, I enjoyed the shock of electricity that never went away. What was this strange new feeling that was developing? . . .
One night, while I was sleeping over at Marcus' apartment, he held me close to him. We took our shirts off. The sensation of another man's skin against mine was paralyzing to me. I was captive by my own sense of pleasure and quilt at the same time. The moment was powerul. Marcus asked me to kiss him. Suddenly I realized that I had drifted far into a strange affair . . . an affair with another man. Marcus was in love with me, and though I didn't admit it then.. I was in love with him. That realization scared me into a panic. My lifes goals flashed before my eyes. I felt I was being betrayed by my own feelings. I knew I was in love, and Marcus knew. But if anyone else knew, my world would end. I thought my family would disown me. My church would excommunicate me. My lovely soul-mate, Darla would never forgive me. I slapped Marcus and said "How dare you! I am saving my kiss for Darla." Marcus asked me "Jeromy, how do you feel when I touch you? You like it, don't you? I see you quiver. I feel your heart pounding. I hear you moan and sigh and feel your breath quicken. You like it when I touch you." Then the scariest question I had ever heard. . ."Do you feel this way with Darla? Or with ANY woman for that matter?" Marcus had caught me. I was in a corner. It had never even occured to me that I SHOULD feel that way about Darla. I had never even tried to touch her, hold her, or kiss her cheek. I FELT BROKEN. I was defective. I knew that I longed for Marcus' touch and not for Darla. But I had to lie to Marcus to save my soul. I told him, "I'm not gay Marcus. I don't love you. I love Darla and I can't see you anymore." I left, went home and cried. Marcus followed me home to my apartment. It was raining (ironicaly appropriate). Marcus begged to let me in. I openned the door. He came inside. Marcus grabbed my shoulders, flipped me around and pinned me against the door. Soaking wet, he placed his lips on mine and kissed me. . . passionately.