and dangerous, as I don't know how to use a gun, and I really doubt I have hostages either. Just in case:

Time
I'd really like to paint my toenails and watch that movie I dvr'd 3 weeks ago.

A way to get through to them
I'll say it again: Edward isn't real!

My library card
It seems to still be missing...

The perfect joke
And guaranteed laughs. You can only use, "what's black and white and black and white and black and white?" so many times.
BTW: A penguin.
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!

The power of time travel
What I wouldn't give to be Hiro Nakamura (before he lost his power). I want to meet Queen Elizabeth I and Leonardo Da Vinci and Charles Dickens and Jane Austen and Dumbledore and Merlin...