Hamburgler
At first, I thought about someone hot and sexy. Hamburgler is certainly not that.

So...why?

Well, I figure he'd be good at getting out of a jam, and if we were in there for any length of time, I'm guessing he's got a stash of burgers. Hopefully he's been moonlighting and robbing some fancy bistro burger joints like Sandrina's or The Bleedin' Deacon, because those McCrapwiches are not so awesome.

Beyond that, he'd make a great scape goat if anything got really out of hand. I mean, the guy wears a classic robber costume at all times.