Access to the Vatican vaults.
Before I release the hostages, I want to have an entire week, at least, to be able to freely roam around the secret vaults of the Vatican, seeing what the hell is in there.

Access to Area 51 and Fort Knox
Not to take anything. I just want to SEE INSIDE. And, of course, be able to blog about it.

For Twitter To Be Destroyed
Before it destroys the world.

Ten Plagues Upon Hollywood
And this should be filmed. I want to watch the locusts devour starlets, and the Scientologists mourn the death of their firstborn.

100 million dollars in a Swiss Bank Account, and Transportation to Interlaken
My Evil Lair will be built on the Jungfrau. NOBODY SUSPECTS THE SWISS!