Probably I should look into some additional options

Basically, I'm trying to cut down on the amount of methane gas I'm producing lately. Which, honestly has been a LOT of methane. We're talking green smoggy billows that cloud men's minds, capable of ripping a hole in the ozone layer so great that cosmic rays will penetrate our minds with their space-hallucinogens, leaving us to tear each other apart like slavering, mad wolves.

So far, I've assembled the following items to aid in my endeavor:
1. large cork
2. Costco-size jar of Beano
3. sandalwood and patchouli incense made by forest elves from Boulder

I got this.