Screw bailouts - I have a better option. And Tommy Chong over here agrees with me, too.

Marijuana

Legalized Marijuana.

Why? Well, why the hell not?

At least then people won't be paranoid (as the only excuse against it that I - or anyone else- has ever heard). Because why would you be paranoid if it's legal? And then the 80% of the American population that use or have used it will join you, and you won't be alone in that way either.

Plus the snack food industry would skyrocket.

Then everyone can work for Little Debbie, and be happy as clams.

Here, have a doobie, brah.