Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp

It was hard to choose just one John Mellencamp song. I truly hate his music. I chose this particular ditty because of the line "sucking on chili dogs" because, um, that is not, NOT, a charming vision of America's Heartland.

Mary Jane's Last Dance by Tom Petty

I also had to really THINK about this one, because I have a very love-hate relationship, mostly hate though, with Tom Petty. I just cannot stand how he stretches out the word "pain" in the song. Gack.

Hotel California by The Eagles

Just a really lame song. Right up there with Kokomo by the Beach Boys. "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave!" Come on, Don Henley.