Reclining Your Airplane Seat into my Lap
Since I’m tall and have long legs, I try to secure an exit row seat where the seats in front of me do not recline. But this is not always possible.

I take it as a personal affront when the idiot in front of me reclines his airplane seat. Yeah, sure. It’s his ‘right’. But only the worst scum of the Earth violate the ‘Do unto others’ rule. And everyone knows how miserable it is to have even less space on a plane.

Yet people still flop that seat back!

When they do, something strange happens to my normally level-headed self. I start acting like a spoiled eight year old and try to mentally squish their head with my fingers. I ruthlessly paw through the magazines in the back pouch causing annoying vibrations for the person who is rudely relaxing in my space. I start pushing my knees into the seat which gradually leads to me crossing my legs, then *accidently* kicking the seat. Woops!

For female offenders, I’ve been know to turn several air vents on full blast and aim them at their obnoxious head.

If the offender hasn’t gotten my less than subtle point by then, I will tug the back of his seat and use it to support my weight as I get up. Repeatedly.

THAT almost always gets them! I love the ones who confront me personally. What, don’t I have a ‘right’ to move about in my space? But usually they consult a flight attendant. To which I employ my Baffle then with Blondness routine.

The attendant leaves, the seat goes back again, and I restart my routine. But this time, within minutes, I guarantee, that seat will go back up again.