Dyson Vaccuum Cleaner

Well i actually WAS going to say my Husband, but I guess I won't. So...I'll probably say my vaccuum. It's ancient and barely sucks anything up at all, but I'm too cheap to buy a new one. It's gotten so bad, in fact, that I'm actually starting to hand-feed the stupid thing. Like an aging, bed-ridden parent/spouse...I'm hand feeding morcels to my frigging vaccuum.
But back to the husband...yeah, he should be so lucky. If it ever gets to that point with Him, he is sooo screwed!!