Edward, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmet...
Come on! That’s a family you want with you when vacationing in the nether regions of the world.

My teenage vampires are lightening quick and will gorge on my attackers in glutinous delight!

They’re unstoppable (well, except by werewolves. But who really believes in werewolves?) and would clean out any competition in a matter of minutes.

There’s dark, intelligent, enigmatic Edward. If I was 15 years younger (and, um, single, of course), I’d offer him my soul on a silver plate.

Not sure how his hotness will help my plight...maybe we’ll use it to disorient the female attackers! His mind reading abilities couldn’t hurt either.

Fun, spirited Alice can see the future, thus every move my attackers will make.

And young, eager to suck blood, Jasper will act at Alice’s every command.

Emmet we’d use to ‘influence’ the mood. He has an uncanny ability to portray his emotions on everyone else. So I’d aim his weapon at our attackers, send them into fits of laughter, then go find a bar for us all to have a drink and chill out.

Although, I don’t think any of my new vampire family is OLD enough (at least by ID) to get into a bar. Sigh.