Wolverine
Because he would slice that stuff up in about .078 seconds

Riff from "West Side Story"
Because we seriously need some jazz hands in my rumble

MacGuyver
Because aforementioned rumble could take place in an alley, on a plane, or underwater, and he would still be able to make a bazooka out of a rubber band, a turkey baster, and a chewing gum wrapper

Sarah Contreras
Because the only time she's ethnic is when she's referring to Mexican food or when she gets mad.