Well, in truth my first boyfriend was just someone who busted my balls all the time. It was the classic "I'm gonna pick on you because I have a crush on you" scenario. It totally worked. He made fun of me for a few weeks and then he girlfriended me. Same tactic works to this day.

My real arch enemy, though, was this bitch named Mema. She rode around with this crew of totally nasty hoods, including Dimitra, who would always find me and my friends and try to ruin our fun. If we were playing basketball they'd try to take over the court so we couldn't play. If we were rollerblading they'd try to throw things in our way and make us fall. Sticks and stones can break my bones but I'll still punch you in the face.

So one day I was playing with my home slices, Chiara and Stella, when Mema and Dimitra rode up on bikes. One of them hopped off and shoved Stella. Being a loyal friend with a short fuse and a dangerous temper, I immediately grabbed the culprit, pulled her down to the ground by the hair and then whacked her in the face. A brawl ensued. There was punching, hair pulling, biting and slapping.

I wish I could say that we came out the winners but I'm pretty sure we all walked away with equally scraped knees and bruised prides. Regardless, I learned a really important lesson. Invest in some brass knuckles if you really wanna take someone down.