Luck, metaphorical tightrope-walking, and the inexorable march of time.

So, here I am. [FOOTNOTES ABOUND.]

Luck in genetics and "capital". Not so much luck in love (yet?), though historical data indicates* I've tended to pull above my league, somehow. And if you believe my 12th grade Spanish teacher, I wouldn't be able to stand a stupid guy enough to marry him.** Luck in jobs - I have never had a bad boss or worked for anything that felt shady. I've always had good mentors and coveted assignments. I am now vastly varying degrees of "familiar" with design, accounting, intellectual property, litigation, financial management, nannying, bankruptcy, valuation, audits, proprietary databases, requirements engineering, and paid search/content advertising and marketing. Loved it. Lucky.

Tightrope walking between thinking and feeling.*** Between a sustainable path and one that was comforting to my parents. Between (cultural?) identities. Between the past I don't forget**** and the future I can't quite believe I have any power to shape.

If I could choose immortality, I am fraidy-cat enough to do it. So it's not an option. I am not aging gracefully (this does not bode well since I am still shy of the quarter-century mark).***** In those moments when I round down to a determinist, to someone to believes in destiny, then I give up trying or thinking or feeling. I ride the wave so it feels less like a death march.

I haven't got a lot of time on earth and I haven't got a lot more time for Plinky. Work tired me out. More tomorrow. Friends tonight. No fight in me, so I'm avoiding grocery stores and old dudes.

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*Don't even come at me with that tired-ass old-school 'data' is plural. The concepts of 'data' and 'media' are now singular. Certainly for my generation, certainly for me. It seemed so strange to be told to divide data up into little data points and then glom them back together as the plural-data. What can you do with data points? You make decision off of data as a whole, you move forward on Data. I'll yield in the old-school forms or when I don't want to fight, but reality is changing, hon.
**The hell did that come form, Sra.? Weren't you just explaining some grammar? WTF? Makes me sound all intolerant. (Okay, yes, I feel really hindered in conversation with people who are not that smart, but so what? I can tell when I hinder others and I can tell who's a jerk about it.) I harp on this a lot. It was one of those moments.
***In case you care about that Myers-Briggs noise (it's useful, I have thoughts on this, but it's some people care too much), I have consistently been somewhere between INTJ and INFJ, all getting both results or all 1-2% one way or the other. Please, feel free to read up and think you've defined me. =)
****What's with people ragging on repression? It's just like automating suppression; we should be asking repressives, how DO they do it? And take notes.
*****I've taken to lying about my age, to see what I can get away with. It's all about research and preparation. Also I'd like to note that telling this to the internet is a Dumb Move.