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  • It's true that you shouldn't cry over spilt milk. Over what is it okay to shed tears? See all answers
    • May 12, 2009 by jess
    •  
    • For Crying Out Loud, Go to Your HOME!

    • It’s okay to cry when your house guests extend their stay.

      (especially when said house guests are your in-laws.)

      I have a three day limit with most people. When day one starts with comments in public about difficulty controlling your loose stool, you should go home. Really, I won’t cry.

      If you come to my home with your Chatty Cathy box turned on, please go home. I need space and if you jibber-jabber in my ear 24-7 spitting out the first thing that comes to your mind, sans filter, I’m going to think evil thoughts about you.

      If I spend the day shopping for ingredients and then cooking a large meal for you and the other guests, don’t pull out one of your various boxes of nasty leftovers and start a ‘must go’ spread of half-eaten sushi and wilted garnishes and hour before my dinner. I’ll cry.

      And if you DO this, have the decency to PRETEND to eat my dinner. Because when you proclaim, ‘I’m satisfied. I don’t want anything else to eat’, I will contemplate shoving a chicken bone down your throat. And YOU’LL cry.

      Oh, and when my other guests congregate in my living room around the television, they want to WATCH the TV! Don’t set up camp on my kitchen table, read each and every of your mundane emails OUT LOUD to yourself. We’ll just turn the House MD finale up louder.

      But, by all means, should your cell phone ring during this time, go right ahead and sit in the middle of the room while we’re watching the finale and talk at the top of you lungs. Why go to another room when everyone else can hear about the details of the prayer chain? And WANT to cry.

      Seriously, you’re welcome to stay at my home anytime, for THREE days. When you see me seeping tears of frustration, though, it might be time to check-out.

       
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  • Comments

    MichaelJolly said:
    Poor Jess... That is just horrible. Send her down to my place. I've still got some straps and cuffs and torture implements from my last relationship. Just give me that fucking coffee you've been promising for a week and I will ensure she NEVER, mother fucking EVER makes you cry again.
    posted over 4 years ago
    MadMunkey said:
    Get THEE GONE DEMON SPAWN.
    posted over 4 years ago
    StratPlayer said:
    Ah yes unregulated Jibber-Jabber can undo a good afternoon
    posted over 4 years ago
    StratPlayer said:
    Ah yes unregulated Jibber-Jabber can undo a good afternoon
    posted over 4 years ago
    IntegratedMan said:
    I'll leave my cell phone in the car. I'll come to the table hungry. I'll eat your food. I'll help clean up. We pop the popcorn together. You choose the channel. I'll smile and moan at the appropriate moments in response to the drama on the screen.... and then I'm going to hit the backyard and the fresh night air to savor a good Ashton Virgin cigar and a glass of Herradura Seleccion Suprema Anejo.... I'll leave before sunrise. Please give the other guests my best wishes...
    posted over 4 years ago
    Bob said:
    I totally subscribe to the 3 day limit. Works both ways, too... I can't stand to be at their house in their craziness for more than 3 days, either.
    posted over 4 years ago
    Platform29 said:
    There should be an galactic statute of limitations on visits of any kind - 3 days tops!
    posted over 3 years ago

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