the shoes im wearing right now say that i am clumsy. let me explain. two days ago i decided to clean my room (shocking!) and i actually made it to the vacuuming stage. i had the vacuum sitting up and i was utilizing its attachments. i was attacking the baseboards, when the vacuum slipped out of position, the back fell on my leg, causing me to cry out in unanswered pain, and the bottom slid onto my bedskirt, still wildly sucking. temporarily incapacitated by pain, i attempted to turn off the vacuum, but the button was jammed, and my delay allowed more fabric to be caught into the mechanism, and smoke started to pour from the bottom. trying to wrestle it away, i stepped unwittingly on a pedal and jammed my foot upwards into an unspecified plastic region, splitting my second toenail in half. finally the power button regained potency, but the damage was done. i am now relegated to wearing open shoes in order to coax my toenail into staying connected, where it remains attached by a sliver. so i am wearing cute strappy gold sandals in order to distract onlookers from my bum toe.