FIRST, whatever your parents tell you, do not even consider voting Republican -- at least not until that party reinvents itself back into the party that Abe Lincoln envisioned, which it no longer is.

SECOND, learn Spanish if you don't know it already and stop blaming illegal immigrants for every mistake Americans have made. THIRD, learn Mandarin Chinese -- and use your language skills to do everything in your power to stop the advancement of the Chinese Nation-State's power; that nation is a bigger threat to the order of the world than anyone since Adolf Hitler. And no, this isn't a *racial* issue: this is a socio-geopolitical issue. Work against the interests of China, not against the Chinese people.

FOURTH, base your *religious* decisions on Jesus, just Jesus. Nothing less, nothing more. FIFTH, base your *civil* decisions on a hybrid of libertarianism and socialism -- is marriage a *civil* institution or a *religious* one? Marriage is either a religious institution and should not be sanctioned for *anyone* by the government, or it is a civil institution which must be available to *everyone* -- it can't be halfway.

SIXTH, learn from history: "political correctness" was never supposed to be about thought-control or an impediment to free speech. The movement which began in the early 1960s in Berkeley aimed to increase awareness of the power of language. In short, the concept is *not* to control what is said but to get people to *think* about the meanings of words and stop using them mindlessly before speaking. Period.

SEVENTH, faith in Jesus will make thee whole but Zoloft will make thee sane. EIGHTH, brush and floss daily; it's worth it. NINTH, use Orange Listerine: it's much better than the original flavor and it's also worth it.

TENTH, be good to your parents and forgive their mistakes. They did the best they could, or at least they tried.