Sleep
It doesn't even have to be in the sentence "Go to sleep you miserable fat fuck." If someone even utters the word sleep, I will do just that. I take all mention of sleep as a personal invitation, and it would be rude to deny that request.

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It gets me excited. My first thought is always the same. "Please be Jess! Please be Jess telling me its coffee time cuz I'd really like some GOD DAMN COFFEE YOU FUCKING RABBIT TRAINER WITH YOUR FANCY TRICK PERFORMING BUNNY AND YOUR ACCESS TO EXPENSIVE COFFEES...AND A CAR! I HAVE A FUCKING TRICK FOR YOUR RABBIT...HOW ABOUT IT FETCHES ME SOME GOD DAMNED COFFEE!... And maybe run the obstacle course I made for my guinea pig a few years back...

(I'm only kidding. I love that amazing little rabbit)

White Chocolate...mocha...latte...whipped cream... chocolate drizzly...thing
This is where I start pointing more vigorously and desperately at the menu, to the amusement of the unfairly attractive woman at starbucks who just smiles at me pityingly as if to say "Aww.. you don't know what any of that shit means do you?"

I don't.

Also, for anyone who didn't know, unfairly attractive women make me forget what words are used for.

Fingering, tonguing, push out, pull in.
They're not dirty. I'm just a band geek.

Greatest band moment ever: Freshman year of highschool band, and I was unaccustomed to the fast bass parts that were required of me and my trusty tuba. I signed up for tutoring and a week later I was on my way to meet my tutor.

Again, I play tuba. I was expecting a big, hairy dude who would screw around all day, condemning me to a lifetime of subpar playing. What I got instead was the sexiest thing to ever pick up a tuba. (Besides me)

It was already a disaster of a practice section because she liked to stand right up close to hear the notes which meant her, lets be honest, too good to be true breasts were in my friggin face. (Side story: one time, a breast was just out of reach of my fingers on the buttons. Holy crap that was a great practice)

Anyway, I finally mastered the high notes required for a certain peace of music, so now it was on to the rhythm and speed portion. they were 16th notes, which I've always had problems with.

I couldn't play fast enough. I'll never forget the way she said "Tongue faster" I choked, lost grip on the tuba, and it came down, the bell cracking me over the head.

I didn't learn jack shit with her.