In all seriousness - if I could be ANYTHING - I'd wanna be a reporter for Sexcetera. I don't know if I spelled that right, or even if I should be watching that show... but to be able to tell people "Hey, I work for Playboy!" and not be a blonde whore with fake tits would be immense. You'd also get to go to some prettttyy cool places... ;)

Oh and you'd get to be on TV!