I’m not a celebrity freak, so it’s not surprising that when I’ve had the occasion to meet a few I had no idea who they were.

Pro Football Hall of Murder
My favorite celebrity meeting was in Miami. A friend and I walked into a happening restaurant called Jaguars and she said “Oh my God, that’s OJ Simpson!”.

I looked at the guy and said “No, he’s too short”.

As we ordered drinks she kept rambling about how this guy was looking over at us (so what) and then she started freaking out because he was heading our direction.

My back was to the approaching group so I didn’t see they were close enough to hear my response of “I’m sure that’s not OJ, but if it IS him, I’m blond so I’m outta here before he knifes me or something.”

Apparently, it WAS OJ because he immediately spun around on his heels and walked away. (and the incredulous bartender told me so) *smirk*

The Spanaird
My husband was driving me INSANE browsing through the Pro shop during the Mercedes Championship. As I aimed an exasperated look his direction, some guy’s chest blocked my view.

I stepped to the right. He did too.

I stepped to the left. He went left too.

Finally I looked up and gave him a look that displayed my mood saying “Would you get the hell out of my way?”

The guy looked shocked. Behind us I heard a smattering of laughs and coughs from a group of boys. I found my husband staring at the guy all star-struck as he pushed me out of the way to introduce himself to Sergio Garcia.

Sergio won the tournament that week. He also won my dream car, which my husband thinks is hilarious. Whatever. I kept Sergio humble...for a few days at least ,-)

Wake up Call
I was by myself on a 13-hour flight and just when I thought I was safe from anyone sitting next to me a group of guys boarded the plane. They were loud, obnoxious and blown out of their mind. The group as a whole looked down at me and started high-fiving the guy who was to sit at the window.

I, of course, put on my headphones and ignored him.

During the long flight he had an annoying habit of looking down at my iPod to see what was playing, which was some Band of Horses, Cold War Kids, Spoon, Wilco...mellow stuff so I could SLEEP! But this pompous boob pulled off my headphones and told me my music selection sucked.

He plugged in his own iPod which played Maroon 5.

GAG me. Please.

I told him this. Out loud.

He ripped out his iPod and didn’t talk to me the rest of the flight.

And yes, the flight attendant later told me I was sitting next to one of the band members of Maroon 5.

Vampire Slayer
I walked out of a Four Seasons beach bar once and literally stepped on a short woman. Two hands reached out and grasped my shoulders to steady me and I found myself looking up into the eyes of...

a blah-looking middle-aged guy. But his voice! I recognized his deep voice and quick smile. It was Freddie Prince Jr. and I had squished his Sarah Michelle Gellar. She was not pleased. (Honey, if you’re that short, wear some heels)