- This is in answer to:
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- What would you be excited to find on the ground right now? See all answers
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- June 11, 2009 by suzanneme
- I would be excited about finding solid ground under my feet
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With the solid ground below me, I would no longer be falling.
I am falling. At first, fear, disorientation and no control. Now, some feelings of exhilaration are mixed in, but still no control. I could flap my arms to try to steer, but in the end I would just look ridiculous and still have no control in my descent.
While the sense of free falling is an unwelcome feeling, and having so many bonds that existed come undone is scary, it has broken some bonds in my life that needed broken. I used to always know where my path took me and used to rely on the security of knowing. That is no longer the case. I no longer walk that path and the path before me leads into the unknown.
If I was an optimist I would say I can take any path I want. If I was a pessimist I would say every step could lead me to a dead end. What I foresee is a lot of wrong turns.
I am falling and I wonder where and when I will land. Although, when I think about it, maybe the solid ground wouldn't be a good thing below me. I could fall flat on my face and break something, like my teeth or nose.
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suzanneme
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- suzanneme has written 58 answers
Freedom from bonds and attachments and support is scary, but it is still "freedom". "Freedom" is a gift, because you cannot be present and brave in your search for your highest values without freedom. Bonds and attachments and support can stop you just before you really reach identifying what are your highest values.
I wouldn't worry about "wrong turns", because when you really identify your highest values, practically *everyone* will be screaming at you that you are wrong. Practically everyone doesn't have your best interests at heart; practically everyone doesn't really want you to be right; practically everyone just wants you to validate the same crap that they themselves are clinging to. They get so mad, if you do anything that repudiates the crap they hold close to their hearts.
I am not completely confident this will be helpful to you, because I am well aware, even if I could enter a time machine at talk to myself during my darkest hour, that I couldn't really reach myself, because back then I was still too committed to "protecting" myself. I protected myself because of foolish pride and cowardice. So I will just pray that you are a better friend to yourself now, than I was to myself back then - and that you are braver now, than I was back then. Reading what you wrote, I am pretty sure you are, so you will be fine and that now you are a good friend to yourself.