My general policy is "don't try to be a hero." This is because every time I tell my roommate, James, I'm trying to do something extraordinary, like go to the gym on a Sunday, or wake up before 9am, he says "don't try to be a hero, mini tiny." It's possible he's being sarcastic when he says that but I take it pretty seriously. Because of that there are few times that I've tried to be heroic.

The one department in which my heroism excels is swimming. Picture this. You're at a beach - river, lake, or ocean; doesn't matter - and you're enjoying a fantastic game of paddle ball with your friends. If you don't play paddle ball, it might be volleyball, soccer, or some other ball-throwing game that I don't even know about! There you are, tossing it back and forth, back and forth when - whoops! - the ball goes flying way out into the water.

What are you going to do?!

Who's going to swim out there, into that possibly freezing cold water, and retrieve the ball???

I'll tell you who. Me. I am. I will be the hero, I will jump in the water, doggy paddle (or possibly butterfly) hundreds of yards away into the Puget Sound, or Lake Cushman, or Lake Tahoe, or wherever else we may be and I'll get your damn ball.

Just as long as someone's waiting on the shore to wrap me in a towel as soon as I get back.