Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson changed the world with his incredible talent, his incandescent, unique, and totally original dance moves, his powerful voice with its extraordinary range and perfect pitch, and his brilliant crafting of songs that will last as long as men have voices. He pioneered the use of shocking make-up and extravagant costumes, and he reinvented the structure and language of all music, bringing a luminous magic to what had, until Michael, been a crass and tawdry medium.

Michael Jackson
He would talk in his beautiful whisper about his hopes for world peace, his love for animals and boys, and his desire to transform himself into an idealized white man/woman. He would give me beauty tips, like the best way to highlight your eyes, how to improve your profile, or how to change your hairstyle to express the real you. As shy as he seemed to be in public, he would be voluble, eloquent, and loquacious. I wouldn't even have to ask any questions, because Michael would know me, he would know my soul and my heart, and he would speak to me in person as intensely as his songs do.

Michael Jackson
The world should know everything there is to know about Michael (gosh, I feel a little presumptuous using just his first name, but this far into the dinner I'm sure we would be on a first-name basis.) Michael was a brilliant businessman and a generous, loving friend who acquired an enormous range of important art and cultural icons and stuff. His collector's passion has already changed the world's cultural landscape and transformed the language and economics of art.

It's just a matter of time until the world's newspapers, magazines, televisions and internet simply and unabashedly center all their reporting on Michael's incredible legacy. Book publishers will only publish books about MJ, and artists will only paint images of him. Talk shows will only be about him, and even Jeopardy will only use categories that center on The One Michael.

Michael Jackson was and is and will always be the single most important human being in history. I hope he likes hot dogs and succotash.