Nice. A fascinating city, inhabited for something over 400,000 years. Moderate temperatures, a lively restaurant scene, and well known for its food specialty, pissaladiere. The locals speak with a charming french accent, ("Would you like zee Coca-Cola, madame?,") and the dogs bark funny, ("Ouah!, Ouah!")

So much niceness. They have harbor of nice, a nice Carnival, a Universite of nice, a nice Jazz Festivale, a nice Observatory, a church called the Notre Dame de Nice (which is very Nice inside,) a botanical garden of the city of nice, their own strain of modern art, the Ecole de Nice, and even their own creed. There are uncountable nice restaurants and nice beds and breakfasts, lots of nice people, and plenty of nice mice. They probably have nice rats, too.

After so much niceness, the best place to go is Nasty, in Hertfordshire. It may look like a perfectly ordinary village, but the most remarkable things go on after dark.